So I received a very sweet children’s book in the
mail from my friend Jan. The title is A
Blessing from Above and it’s about a kangaroo that longed to carry a baby
in her pouch. It watches every animal have their own children until one day a
baby bird falls from its nest into her pouch. The mama bird is overwhelmed with
her nest of baby birds that she’s happy that her baby bird is happy and warm in
the kangaroo’s care. Then the kangaroo and the baby bird live happily ever
after together and give thanks for each other every night before bed. It’s a very cute story. I love it but
adoption is not that easy for most. So many things go into adopting a child.
You don’t fill out paperwork pay your money and a baby appears at your door
step. Tim and I might be waiting for years for a child or children (I hope
not!) Adoption is a tangled continuum of pleasure and pain, fulfillment and
frustration according to Adoption Nation.
One thing we understand is adoption will always be a part of our lives and most
importantly our kids. As we are reading
we have learned how the adoption process has changed over the years. Laws have
changed and trends like open adoptions have grown. These adoption facts will give you a better grasp of the
workings and realities of this sometimes confusing process.
·
In the U.S. the average age for
prospective adoptive parents is the late 30s to middle 40s. (We are younger
than that! J)
·
The largest adoptive parent group is
couples who have been married for three years or longer. Even though this is
still the norm, interracial, single-parent, and gay-parent adoptions are
gaining in popularity.
·
Adoption laws in the U.S. are
enacted and monitored by the states. This means that the laws can vary quite a
bit from one state to another. Laws can change too. If you're planning on
adopting, it pays to do your homework and stay current on changing trends.
·
There are typically two broad
categories of adoption, open and closed. A closed adoption is one in which the
identities of the parties involved are withheld. In an open (or semi-open)
adoption, certain information is shared. What and how much can vary from state
to state and agency to agency. There are advantages and disadvantages to either
method. The trick is to find an agency and process that works for you.
·
State adoption agencies are usually
of two types, public and private. Public agencies are run by the states
themselves, where private agencies are only licensed by the states. Public
agencies typically have lower costs involved in adoption where private agencies
can sometimes charge a great deal.
·
Adopted children can and often do
grow up well-adjusted and happy. A 1994 study conducted by the Search Institute
in Minneapolis evaluated 881 adopted adolescents and their adoptive parents
over four years. The teens scored higher than their non-adopted counterparts in
caring and social competency. (Well, that’s good to know.)
·
Although there may be lots of
reasons to adopt a child, the overwhelming motivator in 95 percent of cases is
infertility. (That’s us!)
·
The average adoption takes -- well,
there is no average adoption timeframe. Times can vary anywhere from a few
months to five years or more depending on the circumstances.
·
As of the 2000 census, about 1.6
million children in the U.S. under the age of 18 were adopted. Of those, around
98,000 were one year old or less (this includes foreign adoptions).
·
Using those same 2000 census
figures, there were almost a half-million adopted adults living in the U.S.
(473,000).
There are so many unknowns. I have worries. But I try not to
worry for too long because I will go CRAZY! With all this newfound knowledge we have met
parents that have adopted. With their story they all say it’s
worth it when "the gift" arrives.
(This will be a topic of a future blog post, I'm sure)
SWEET!
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